If you know the words, sing along! This is the singalong song, and if you don't sing along Then you hate cute puppies - you hate cute puppies This is the singalong song, and if you don't sing along Then you hate cute puppies - you hate cute puppies Don't you hate when songs have a call and response? - "yeah..?" This song will be stuck in your head for days Even though it gets no radio plays This is the singalong song, and if you don't sing along Then you hate child orphans - you hate child orphans This is the singalong song, and if you don't sing along Then you hate child orphans - you hate child orphans This is a song we wrote for you to repeat note for note What a tasty jam we bring while we hear the audience sing This is the singalong song, and if you don't sing along Then you hate singalong songs And you probably helped with nine-eleven

I was chilling at my house watching Netflix When my best friend said we're out of Chex Mix I asked them if their serious They told me it's not a drill Looked inside my wallet Only had a dollar bill I wasn't worried, matter of fact I'd say it was luck Cuz there's a store in town where everything is only a buck Grabbed my keys and I was ready to bounce Stopped snagging up change from the crack of the couch The people see me in the store, they're thinking "damn she's wild" Cuz I've been eating everything in the candy aisle Fill up my cart and start to look like I'm a hoarder That's what happens when your car is holding quarters Anything that I need, I can get it for a dollar A high school diploma, or a clerical collar I can buy an old computer or a little bit of weed Cuz we're going on a dollar store shopping spree Dollar store shopping spree - it's the dollar store shopping spree Dollar store shopping spree - it's the dollar store shopping spree It's a scandal, the store description's so vague No need to relocate, I could spend my whole day Probably find a soulmate buying milk from the stone age, no-pulp oj, and some off-brand Flonase Wanna find out what's the meaning of life? It's on the shelf right across from the cleaning supplies Got a full cart, but we're spending microscopically Going on a dollar store shopping spree Dollar store shopping spree - it's the dollar store shopping spree Dollar store shopping spree - it's the dollar store shopping spree Dollar store shopping spree - it's the dollar store shopping spree Dollar store shopping spree - it's the dollar store shopping spree

Boobs. I’ve got ‘em. But it’s time to put to rest A little something that I’m dyin’ To get off my chest. Bras. I hate ‘em. Like, who invented these? (men) Time to entertain some new Possibil-titties. Feelin’ bold, I’m feelin’ lawless That’s cuz baby, I am going braless! Fuck bras! Fuck bras! They squeeze me like a zit! I don’t wanna wear a bra no more Just want to free my tits! Fuck bras! Fuck bras! Who likes push-up straps? (Men) A bra is just a lacy cage A literal bobbie trap I’m oppressed, poked and pressed All day by underwire As soon as I get home I throw my bra in the fire! Bras are good for storing Moist wads of cash But this one cost me sixty bucks And all I got was a rash….and a yeast infection Fuck bras! Fuck bras! I will not be restrained! Due to excessive boob sweat My bras get nasty stains! Fuck bras! Fuck bras! Who cares about gravity? (Isaac Newton) Isaac Newton was a man Who did not have titties I’ve been wearing this shit since I was a teen But the one good thing about quarantine Is I can give these puppies some air to breathe It smells like cheese inside my cleav My 34Ds ain’t here to please I’m just a human with mammaries And sure, sometimes I need a little support When I’m smugglin’ drugs or doin’ a sport So wear a bra if you want to rock it But ask yourself, why don’t bras have pockets? Why don’t bras have pockets, pockets, pockets? Men. Fuck bras! Fuck bras! And halters and corsets But most of all fuck strapless bras And especially fuck bralettes! Fuck bras! Fuck bras! Time to free the nips! When I take my bra off It rains tortilla chips.

¡Ay, cántalo cabrón! Tenemos diferencias Tenemos diferencias Pero somos raza humana Todos tenemos musica que hace llorar a tu tio En la carna asada Cuando esta canción suena En tu ipod shuffle Lo apagas Lo apagas So no one judges you But it’s too late because Metal music is white Mariachi Mariachi is Spanish metal rock songs You can’t deny it They both hit you right in your feels You can enjoy both but only if you’re bilingual No llores No llores Tus emociones solo Pueden ser escuchadas Por sonidos locos Palabras y ideas No significan nada Cuando siempre siente todo But no one understands you Everybody scream Metal music is white Mariachi Mariachi is Spanish metal rock songs You can’t deny it They both hit you right in your feels You can enjoy both but only if you’re bilingual Vamos mi gentes! Ay, ay, ay, ay Canta y no llores Porque cantando se alegran Same thing let's go back to the chorus Metal music is white Mariachi Mariachi is Spanish metal rock songs You can’t deny it They both hit you right in your feels You can enjoy both but only if you’re bilingual Ohhh ohhh ohhhh Metal music is white Mariachi Metal music is Mariachi for WASPS You can't deny it They both make you rip your heart out You can enjoy both but only one is allowed

Fraud Music & Lyrics by Ross Childs and Jake Dewar (2020) JAKE: Short or tall, young or old, are you feeling outta luck? Well, have no fear! Just lend an ear if you wanna make a buck! ROSS: You needn’t worry ‘bout hardship, or toiling endlessly. (Tempo picks up.) The world’s your oyster if you make the choice to have a seat and listen to me! JAKE: And me! ROSS: I promise friend, that never again Will ya have to worry about cash! Forget your morals, rest your laurels And life will be a bash! JAKE: It’s simple as a pimple to learn to do, Whether you’re refined or flawed! You’ll carry on with wine and song Once you commit to fraud! BOTH: OH, FRAUD, fraud! Holy God! Fool the folks and dupe the clods! Makin’ cash, hand over fist! It’s so darn quick, ya can’t resist! Fraud, FRAUD, LET’S APPLAUD! Turn those bills into a wad! Trick each gentleman and broad, With sweet and friendly fraud! ROSS: Just keep it simple, if you’re in crimp’ll Still be a winner, I swear it! Beware of scat, go catch a rat And sell it as a ferret! JAKE: If things are steady, then you might be ready For something more complex… Make a fine cologne that’s filtered through stone And say it’ll get a guy sex! ROSS: Write a book for guys who’ve got their eyes On picking up some dame! They’ve got no clue, and neither do you- BOTH: But it’s money all the same! OH, FRAUD, fraud! Holy God! Fool the folks and dupe the clods! Makin’ cash, hand over fist! It’s so darn quick, ya can’t resist! Fraud, FRAUD, LET’S APPLAUD! Turn those bills into a wad! Trick each gentleman and broad, With cute and cuddly fraud! JAKE: Now it may be unforgiving to scam the living, Who still have lives to be led, So search a while, and start to file Some tax returns for the dead! ROSS: Here’s something cool! Start an online school And make millennials pay the dues! When it starts to fail, go ’head and bail! You’re rich and can’t get sued! JAKE: Go sell some homes with predatory loans! Those suckers’ll think it’s great! And when it comes to a halt once they default- BOTH: Get bailed out by the United States government! FRAUD, fraud! Holy God! Fool the folks and dupe the clods! Makin’ cash, hand over fist! It’s so darn quick, ya can’t resist! Fraud, FRAUD, LET’S APPLAUD! Turn those bills into a wad! Trick each gentleman and broad, With warm and fuzzy fraud! ROSS: Here’s an investment sure and sound! Buy a building, burn it to the ground! JAKE: Or for personal enjoyment, file someone else’s unemployment! ROSS: Mess with people’s lives and welfare, by depriving them of healthcare! JAKE: Steal, embezzle, scam and cheat, make a deal that can’t be beat! ROSS: Write the book ‘Art of the Deal’- BOTH: A story of success that isn’t real! JAKE: Seriously, he made a bunch of really bad investments in the 90s and the banks had to bail him out. Also he inherited all of his wealth and he probably isn’t as rich as he says he is. He’s definitely not as Christian as he says he is. ROSS: Oh, maybe we should do a televangelist scheme! JAKE: Oh, yeah! There’s definitely gullible Christians… BOTH: FRAUD, fraud! There’s no God! Fool believers, lead the flo-ock! Steal their cash, with a flick of the wrist! We’re so obsessed, we can’t resist! Fraud, FRAUD, LET’S APPLAUD! Just look at this amazing wad! Trick the whole world by and by, With low-down dirty lies! Through the grime and dirt we’ve clawed, To commit to committing fraud!

Music and Lyrics by Jake Dewar (2020) Dancing at the club while I’m sick with a virus. Making murals on the wall, snorting coke to inspire us. Then I take my bloody nose and rub it up on the wall, And I start shouting, “Holy fuck, that didn’t feel good at all!” I’m lactose intolerant and looking for danger, So I eat a bunch of cheese and then throw up on a stranger. Livin’ life luxuriously and spending generous amounts, So now I’m taking money straight out of my savings account! I’m the drunken American dream, Singing the Star-Spangled banner in a key That is a little too high for me! Oh say can you see… I’m a grown-ass man and I make my own decisions! Pushing myself! Jeopardizing my health! I’m a grown-ass man and I make my own decisions! I aim for the sky! Tonight I might die! I met some people from Craigslist and we’ve started a cult! We’re gonna murder our new Alderman and lead a revolt, So we disguise ourselves as janitors! My weapon’s a mop! But now we’re living in an SUV ‘cause our plan was a flop! We didn’t kill ‘em! I’m not weird and I’m not ashamed! I’ll do whatever for internet fame! I can’t say I feel remorse, Even though my wife and I are getting a divorce. I’m a grown-ass man and I make my own decisions! Lovin’ my life and pissin’ off my wife! I’m a grown-ass man and I make my own decisions! I do what I like, and it really is quite daunting to my wife! (He’s a grown ass man and he makes his own decisions!) My life is a blur! I’m totally mature! (He’s a grown ass man and he makes his own decisions!) My tires are slashed! I have an untreated rash! (He’s a grown ass man and he makes his own decisions!) Got a full-grown brain! I’m a hundred percent sane! (He’s a grown ass man and he makes his own decisions!) My buddies and I imitate animal cries! (Animal sounds.) I’m an adult!

Twenty-freakin’-twenty, you’ve been quite a year; We can’t go out to see live shows. But for a moment in time, we can play pretend With an experiment. Let’s see how this goes… We’re singing along on Zoom Like we’re in a single room, And as we face certain doom, We’re singing along on Zoom. Now more than ever, as we’re in the new normal, Says every corporation, school, government department, and non profit-institute. In this difficult times; these challenging times; unprecedented times, We’re all in this together, so unmute! (Call-and-response unmute, yeah!) We’re singing along on Zoom Like we’re in a single room, And as we face certain doom, We’re singing along on Zoom. Nine to five is still nine to five, But you stare at your own face until you are dead inside. Virtual happy hour ’til your phone loses power, Then you hug your loofah on a stick, weeping in the shower. Zoom with your family will never be easy: Your cousin’s on the move; his camerawork makes you queasy. Your grandma always has connection difficul-teezy… We’re clapping along on Zoom (We’re trynna clap along on Zoom but it’s hard, yeah!) Like we’re in a single room, (We’re in a single room; we can’t leave; we can’t get out!) And as we face certain doom, (We’re gonna die, we’re gonna die, you’re probably gonna die, yeah!) We’re singing along on Zoom. (We’re really singin’, we’re really really singin’ singin’ singin’ yeah.) Big finish! We’re singing along on… Zoom!