1. |
Singalong Song
01:34
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If you know the words, sing along!
This is the singalong song, and if you don't sing along
Then you hate cute puppies - you hate cute puppies
This is the singalong song, and if you don't sing along
Then you hate cute puppies - you hate cute puppies
Don't you hate when songs have a call and response?
- "yeah..?"
This song will be stuck in your head for days
Even though it gets no radio plays
This is the singalong song, and if you don't sing along
Then you hate child orphans - you hate child orphans
This is the singalong song, and if you don't sing along
Then you hate child orphans - you hate child orphans
This is a song we wrote for you to repeat note for note
What a tasty jam we bring while we hear the audience sing
This is the singalong song, and if you don't sing along
Then you hate singalong songs
And you probably helped with nine-eleven
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2. |
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I was chilling at my house watching Netflix
When my best friend said we're out of Chex Mix
I asked them if their serious
They told me it's not a drill
Looked inside my wallet
Only had a dollar bill
I wasn't worried, matter of fact I'd say it was luck
Cuz there's a store in town where everything is only a buck
Grabbed my keys and I was ready to bounce
Stopped snagging up change from the crack of the couch
The people see me in the store, they're thinking "damn she's wild"
Cuz I've been eating everything in the candy aisle
Fill up my cart and start to look like I'm a hoarder
That's what happens when your car is holding quarters
Anything that I need, I can get it for a dollar
A high school diploma, or a clerical collar
I can buy an old computer or a little bit of weed
Cuz we're going on a dollar store shopping spree
Dollar store shopping spree - it's the dollar store shopping spree
Dollar store shopping spree - it's the dollar store shopping spree
It's a scandal, the store description's so vague
No need to relocate, I could spend my whole day
Probably find a soulmate buying milk from the stone age,
no-pulp oj, and some off-brand Flonase
Wanna find out what's the meaning of life?
It's on the shelf right across from the cleaning supplies
Got a full cart, but we're spending microscopically
Going on a dollar store shopping spree
Dollar store shopping spree - it's the dollar store shopping spree
Dollar store shopping spree - it's the dollar store shopping spree
Dollar store shopping spree - it's the dollar store shopping spree
Dollar store shopping spree - it's the dollar store shopping spree
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3. |
Geese
00:52
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4. |
Nasty
02:22
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5. |
Forks
00:19
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6. |
Bras
02:22
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Boobs. I’ve got ‘em.
But it’s time to put to rest
A little something that I’m dyin’
To get off my chest.
Bras. I hate ‘em.
Like, who invented these? (men)
Time to entertain some new
Possibil-titties.
Feelin’ bold, I’m feelin’ lawless
That’s cuz baby, I am going braless!
Fuck bras! Fuck bras!
They squeeze me like a zit!
I don’t wanna wear a bra no more
Just want to free my tits!
Fuck bras! Fuck bras!
Who likes push-up straps? (Men)
A bra is just a lacy cage
A literal bobbie trap
I’m oppressed, poked and pressed
All day by underwire
As soon as I get home
I throw my bra in the fire!
Bras are good for storing
Moist wads of cash
But this one cost me sixty bucks
And all I got was a rash….and a yeast infection
Fuck bras! Fuck bras!
I will not be restrained!
Due to excessive boob sweat
My bras get nasty stains!
Fuck bras! Fuck bras!
Who cares about gravity? (Isaac Newton)
Isaac Newton was a man
Who did not have titties
I’ve been wearing this shit since I was a teen
But the one good thing about quarantine
Is I can give these puppies some air to breathe
It smells like cheese inside my cleav
My 34Ds ain’t here to please
I’m just a human with mammaries
And sure, sometimes I need a little support
When I’m smugglin’ drugs or doin’ a sport
So wear a bra if you want to rock it
But ask yourself, why don’t bras have pockets?
Why don’t bras have pockets, pockets, pockets?
Men.
Fuck bras! Fuck bras!
And halters and corsets
But most of all fuck strapless bras
And especially fuck bralettes!
Fuck bras! Fuck bras!
Time to free the nips!
When I take my bra off
It rains tortilla chips.
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7. |
Why
02:25
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8. |
Lactose Intolerance
03:36
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9. |
Dystopia
01:33
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10. |
UTI
01:38
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11. |
Metal Mariachi
02:58
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¡Ay, cántalo cabrón!
Tenemos diferencias
Tenemos diferencias
Pero somos raza humana
Todos tenemos musica
que hace llorar a tu tio
En la carna asada
Cuando esta canción suena
En tu ipod shuffle
Lo apagas
Lo apagas
So no one judges you
But it’s too late because
Metal music is white Mariachi
Mariachi is Spanish metal rock songs
You can’t deny it
They both hit you right in your feels
You can enjoy both but only if you’re bilingual
No llores
No llores
Tus emociones solo
Pueden ser escuchadas
Por sonidos locos
Palabras y ideas
No significan nada
Cuando siempre
siente todo
But no one understands you
Everybody scream
Metal music is white Mariachi
Mariachi is Spanish metal rock songs
You can’t deny it
They both hit you right in your feels
You can enjoy both but only if you’re bilingual
Vamos mi gentes!
Ay, ay, ay, ay
Canta y no llores
Porque cantando se alegran
Same thing let's go back to the chorus
Metal music is white Mariachi
Mariachi is Spanish metal rock songs
You can’t deny it
They both hit you right in your feels
You can enjoy both but only if you’re bilingual
Ohhh ohhh ohhhh
Metal music is white Mariachi
Metal music is Mariachi for WASPS
You can't deny it
They both make you rip your heart out
You can enjoy both but only one is allowed
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12. |
Christopher
03:18
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13. |
Fraud
03:34
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Fraud
Music & Lyrics by Ross Childs and Jake Dewar (2020)
JAKE:
Short or tall, young or old, are you feeling outta luck?
Well, have no fear! Just lend an ear if you wanna make a buck!
ROSS:
You needn’t worry ‘bout hardship, or toiling endlessly. (Tempo picks up.)
The world’s your oyster if you make the choice to have a seat and listen to me!
JAKE:
And me!
ROSS:
I promise friend, that never again
Will ya have to worry about cash!
Forget your morals, rest your laurels
And life will be a bash!
JAKE:
It’s simple as a pimple to learn to do,
Whether you’re refined or flawed!
You’ll carry on with wine and song
Once you commit to fraud!
BOTH:
OH, FRAUD, fraud! Holy God!
Fool the folks and dupe the clods!
Makin’ cash, hand over fist!
It’s so darn quick, ya can’t resist!
Fraud, FRAUD, LET’S APPLAUD!
Turn those bills into a wad!
Trick each gentleman and broad,
With sweet and friendly fraud!
ROSS:
Just keep it simple, if you’re in crimp’ll
Still be a winner, I swear it!
Beware of scat, go catch a rat
And sell it as a ferret!
JAKE:
If things are steady, then you might be ready
For something more complex…
Make a fine cologne that’s filtered through stone
And say it’ll get a guy sex!
ROSS:
Write a book for guys who’ve got their eyes
On picking up some dame!
They’ve got no clue, and neither do you-
BOTH:
But it’s money all the same!
OH, FRAUD, fraud! Holy God!
Fool the folks and dupe the clods!
Makin’ cash, hand over fist!
It’s so darn quick, ya can’t resist!
Fraud, FRAUD, LET’S APPLAUD!
Turn those bills into a wad!
Trick each gentleman and broad,
With cute and cuddly fraud!
JAKE:
Now it may be unforgiving to scam the living,
Who still have lives to be led,
So search a while, and start to file
Some tax returns for the dead!
ROSS:
Here’s something cool! Start an online school
And make millennials pay the dues!
When it starts to fail, go ’head and bail!
You’re rich and can’t get sued!
JAKE:
Go sell some homes with predatory loans!
Those suckers’ll think it’s great!
And when it comes to a halt once they default-
BOTH:
Get bailed out by the United States government!
FRAUD, fraud! Holy God!
Fool the folks and dupe the clods!
Makin’ cash, hand over fist!
It’s so darn quick, ya can’t resist!
Fraud, FRAUD, LET’S APPLAUD!
Turn those bills into a wad!
Trick each gentleman and broad,
With warm and fuzzy fraud!
ROSS: Here’s an investment sure and sound! Buy a building, burn it to the ground!
JAKE: Or for personal enjoyment, file someone else’s unemployment!
ROSS: Mess with people’s lives and welfare, by depriving them of healthcare!
JAKE: Steal, embezzle, scam and cheat, make a deal that can’t be beat!
ROSS: Write the book ‘Art of the Deal’-
BOTH: A story of success that isn’t real!
JAKE: Seriously, he made a bunch of really bad investments in the 90s and the banks had to bail him out. Also he inherited all of his wealth and he probably isn’t as rich as he says he is. He’s definitely not as Christian as he says he is.
ROSS: Oh, maybe we should do a televangelist scheme!
JAKE: Oh, yeah! There’s definitely gullible Christians…
BOTH:
FRAUD, fraud! There’s no God!
Fool believers, lead the flo-ock!
Steal their cash, with a flick of the wrist!
We’re so obsessed, we can’t resist!
Fraud, FRAUD, LET’S APPLAUD!
Just look at this amazing wad!
Trick the whole world by and by,
With low-down dirty lies!
Through the grime and dirt we’ve clawed,
To commit to committing fraud!
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14. |
Karaoke Banger
02:12
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15. |
HBO
04:22
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16. |
Grown Ass Man
02:20
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Music and Lyrics by Jake Dewar (2020)
Dancing at the club while I’m sick with a virus.
Making murals on the wall, snorting coke to inspire us.
Then I take my bloody nose and rub it up on the wall,
And I start shouting, “Holy fuck, that didn’t feel good at all!”
I’m lactose intolerant and looking for danger,
So I eat a bunch of cheese and then throw up on a stranger.
Livin’ life luxuriously and spending generous amounts,
So now I’m taking money straight out of my savings account!
I’m the drunken American dream,
Singing the Star-Spangled banner in a key
That is a little too high for me!
Oh say can you see…
I’m a grown-ass man and I make my own decisions!
Pushing myself! Jeopardizing my health!
I’m a grown-ass man and I make my own decisions!
I aim for the sky! Tonight I might die!
I met some people from Craigslist and we’ve started a cult!
We’re gonna murder our new Alderman and lead a revolt,
So we disguise ourselves as janitors! My weapon’s a mop!
But now we’re living in an SUV ‘cause our plan was a flop! We didn’t kill ‘em!
I’m not weird and I’m not ashamed!
I’ll do whatever for internet fame!
I can’t say I feel remorse,
Even though my wife and I are getting a divorce.
I’m a grown-ass man and I make my own decisions!
Lovin’ my life and pissin’ off my wife!
I’m a grown-ass man and I make my own decisions!
I do what I like, and it really is quite daunting to my wife!
(He’s a grown ass man and he makes his own decisions!)
My life is a blur! I’m totally mature!
(He’s a grown ass man and he makes his own decisions!)
My tires are slashed! I have an untreated rash!
(He’s a grown ass man and he makes his own decisions!)
Got a full-grown brain! I’m a hundred percent sane!
(He’s a grown ass man and he makes his own decisions!)
My buddies and I imitate animal cries!
(Animal sounds.)
I’m an adult!
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17. |
Geese (Dance Mix)
01:50
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18. |
Zoom Singalong
04:12
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Twenty-freakin’-twenty, you’ve been quite a year;
We can’t go out to see live shows.
But for a moment in time, we can play pretend
With an experiment. Let’s see how this goes…
We’re singing along on Zoom
Like we’re in a single room,
And as we face certain doom,
We’re singing along on Zoom.
Now more than ever, as we’re in the new normal,
Says every corporation, school, government department, and non profit-institute.
In this difficult times; these challenging times; unprecedented times,
We’re all in this together, so unmute!
(Call-and-response unmute, yeah!)
We’re singing along on Zoom
Like we’re in a single room,
And as we face certain doom,
We’re singing along on Zoom.
Nine to five is still nine to five,
But you stare at your own face until you are dead inside.
Virtual happy hour ’til your phone loses power,
Then you hug your loofah on a stick, weeping in the shower.
Zoom with your family will never be easy:
Your cousin’s on the move; his camerawork makes you queasy.
Your grandma always has connection difficul-teezy…
We’re clapping along on Zoom
(We’re trynna clap along on Zoom but it’s hard, yeah!)
Like we’re in a single room,
(We’re in a single room; we can’t leave; we can’t get out!)
And as we face certain doom,
(We’re gonna die, we’re gonna die, you’re probably gonna die, yeah!)
We’re singing along on Zoom.
(We’re really singin’, we’re really really singin’ singin’ singin’ yeah.)
Big finish!
We’re singing along on…
Zoom!
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Good Ass Group Chicago, Illinois
Good Ass Group is a musical comedy collective started in 2020.
The group features Ahyoka Saas, Becca
Nix Tham, Robbie Ellis, Debonair Status, Heather Meza, Jake Dewar, Jamie Shriner Biddle, Noelle Hoffman, Ross Childs, and Tague Zachary
... more
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